I finished Nancy Ava Miller’s book Pervert, Notes from the Sexual Underground. I’ve known Nancy for years and thought I knew her well. Her book taught me otherwise. There were so many aspects of her life that I had no idea about.
The back of the book says:
“In her introduction, Nancy Ava Miller claims to have written a book about how she could not write a book about her life in the sex industry. In so doing, she nevertheless documents the heart of the B&D/S&M netherworld as it existed for many in the 1980s and 90s-the desperation, the obsession, the passion, the gathering together of kinky souls in back alley clubs and support networks, the intimacy, the love, and her own sexual odyssey.”
The best part of the book is Part Four, Sex and Absurdity: Our “Vanilla” World. Here Nancy talks about BDSM and politics. She writes about several dominatrixes arrests and rightly points out the sexual hypocrisy in this country that punishes consenting adults performing kinky acts in the privacy of their own homes.
In the book she details how she started several of her BDSM support groups. With sites like FetLife and CollarMe it’s hard to imagine driving hours to meet with fellow kinksters. But the pre-internet days were more difficult and I’ve talked to many who speak of Nancy’s groups as a lifesaver.
Appendix A, A History of Sexual Support Groups According to Hearsay, Rumor, Folklore, Written Documentation, and My Somewhat Questionable Memory was surprisingly entertaining. Usually I find a list of dates boring and tedious to read. Not so with Nancy’s list. It was interesting to read how PEP grew over the years.
My favorite quote from the book has Nancy extolling the virtues of phone sex.
“Done right, telephone sex plays a healthy role in the lives of many people today. It provides companionship for the lonely, solace for the needy, and nonjudgmental fantasy conversation for those who cannot discuss with friends or lovers-or who feel they cannot discuss-their darkest cravings, their obsessions, the secret lurkings deep in heart, mind, soul, and genitals.”
I couldn’t agree more. Want to know more about Nancy, the history of BDSM groups in the US and kinky sex in general? Then pick up a copy of Pervert.
